There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats white and pointless? chalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

ring around the rosie ... your dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Pakistani news reader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Womens basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Robin, get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops