Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

The lion swallowed his pride.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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