How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fox News

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So does Blake

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wait what? I did not type that!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops