Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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