Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

Roses are red, Violets are violet

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Women's Professional _________

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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