At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

"Knock knock." "No."

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

black people

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

Sarah Palin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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