Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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