How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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