Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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Homonyms should be band.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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The NBA and womens sports

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Apple juice.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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