What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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My friend harris is fat.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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The government

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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