Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -13

captcha: all yer base

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I dont have a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops