A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops