whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than a kane nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-_- i like trains ... -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops