- Anti Joke

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

69 :)

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

whats white and pointless? chalk.