How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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An Artic Storm.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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knock knock come in!

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops