CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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say cheese

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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You have friends

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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