I can count to potato.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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