A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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which one is easiest

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Here's a joke, a black man walks into a store and buys something. that's it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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