What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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