What doesn't kill you makes you injured

How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

What did the peanut say to the jelly

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

The chicken crossed the road.

Poop

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...