Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Hey, Max!!

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops