How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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A child walks into a classroom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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I grunt when I poop.

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canada

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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