A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

Apple juice.

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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