what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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Testicles.

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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