Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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