Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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How high is a Chinaman

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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