Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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