A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I drive a 'rarri

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops