Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

Your mom is fat

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

Hello.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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