what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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