my shift key is broken1

An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

penis

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

Chuck norris

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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