What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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The jets are a good team..

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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._____________________. Whale!

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Gangnam style

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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gay people

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops