A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops