Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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Yo mama's fat.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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