One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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this is not a joke. jks

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So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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