Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

Kathy Griffin.

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

9

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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