what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

Knock knock! Ding dong.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

What is 1+1? It's 2!

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

9

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

What's big and messy? A big mess

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

That's what she didn't say

A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

Guess what? I like trains.

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...