What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do you like your life? No. OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops