A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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