A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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