Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A midget walks under a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops