How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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Jersey Shore

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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