How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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