Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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Once upon a cross

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what do u call a apple a apple

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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TIMMAH!

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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fava beans

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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