An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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A Jew! Bless you.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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