What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How come grilled cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops