- Anti Joke

What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

Knock knock. Who's there You are.

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

7

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

i lost the game

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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