jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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