bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops