what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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whats good about poland... fukk all

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Harry Styles

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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