Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

shut up iggy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there Police

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops