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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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